


In Rainbows - Phanthology

by schizdroid



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 5 outta 10 ain't bad, M/M, Radiohead, all bants no angst, apocalyptic holiday, existential pillowtalk, not your typical Floriday vacay, phan get a pet, what is an exercise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-11-16 19:19:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11259306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schizdroid/pseuds/schizdroid
Summary: 5 little snippets of Dan & Phil using (half of) the In Rainbows track listing as (very loose) prompts. One of the world's most beautiful albums doesn't deserve this treatment, but here we are. Each chapter is a standalone story and they don't need to be read in order.15 Step - gym boysBodysnatchers - tipsy boysNudeWeird Fishes/Arpeggi - surprise petAll I Need - 'pocalypse innit





	1. 15 Step

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan & Phil at the gym

_\- How come I end up where I started_

_How come I end up where I went wrong -_

 

"It's been an hour, let's stop," Dan panted beside Phil.

"It hasn't even been 30 minutes, come on, Dan."

Dan looked to his left, expecting Phil to look just as much of a sweaty and exhausted mess as Dan currently did, but Phil was jogging along on the treadmill with barely a drop of sweat in sight. Dan let out a strained breath and jabbed at the buttons on his own treadmill until it slowed to a walking pace. "It's been at least 40 and I'm ready for death," he said, taking a swig from his water bottle.

Phil shrugged and kept jogging. "It's because you don't ease in to it, you need to work up the speed slowly, Dan. Not just pound it out immediately."

"That's not what you said last night."

Phil swatted at Dan's arm and looked around the gym. They were alone. He swatted Dan again, anyway. "Shh!"

Dan wiped his arm across his forehead and studied himself in the mirror that took up the wall in front of them. "Have I ever looked like more of a drowned rat?" He turned his head left to right, checking all angles while adjusting his damp curls.

"Have I ever looked like more of a ripe tomato?"

"Can a ripe tomato be purely white?"

They watched each other in the mirror, Phil jogging as Dan strolled, smiling.

"I'm gonna tell Kyle you're not doing it right," Phil said.

Dan rolled his eyes. He pushed more buttons until the treadmill stopped and he gingerly stepped off of the track and immediately laid down on the floor, focusing on his breath and his heartbeat, willing them both to slow down.

"If we get a dog, how are you gonna walk it every day?"

Dan rolled onto his side and propped himself up on one elbow, watching Phil as he continued to jog with ease.

"' _If_?' I think you mean _when_."

"Yes, _when_ we get a dog, walking it is a daily thing, you know."

"Phil, there's a difference between taking a dog for a relaxing stroll around the block and _jogging for an hour on a treadmill_."

"Well, what if the dog wants to run?"

Dan dropped back down onto the floor with a quiet groan, even just watching someone else exercise was exhausting. He closed his eyes. "We'll get it a hamster ball." Dan smiled at the sound of Phil's giggle in response.

"We should get _you_ a hamster ball."

Dan nodded. "That would be a good video." He opened his eyes at the sound of beeping; Phil was lowering his treadmill speed to a leisurely pace. He motioned at Dan to join him.

"10 more minutes of cool down, just walk with me."

Dan pouted. "But I'm doing yoga," he whined.

"Dan, come on."

Dan got up and set his treadmill to the lowest setting and walked alongside Phil. He watched Phil's face in the mirror as he said, "I was thinking we could get in an after-workout workout in the showers. I've been saving my energy."

Phil met his eyes and then looked around the still-empty room. "I don't think this place is going to stay deserted that long."

"Ew, Phil. Hygiene. I meant a home workout."

Phil jabbed at the buttons to stop the treadmill and in a second was at Dan's machine to stop his, too. "That was close enough to 10 minutes, I feel cooled down, you look cooled down, let's go."

Dan had to jog the entire way home to keep up with Phil.

 

 


	2. Bodysnatchers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tipsy lil existential discussion in bed

_\- They got a skin_   _and they put me in -_

 

Phil was lying in bed, fully clothed and fighting against sleep. His mind and body were both humming with energy he didn't know what to do with, but at the same time, he still felt slow and sleepy. He listened to Dan breathing deeply next to him, secure in the knowledge that at least they were in the same boat. Pairing a business dinner with too much wine had seemed like a great idea at the time, but the ride home from the restaurant had turned into a game of what they could get away with in the backseat without the driver noticing. And then that game had quickly turned into who could actually stay awake for the entire 20 minute ride. 

"You know how people used to think that being photographed took away your soul? Or... part of it? Or whatever."

Phil flinched at Dan's voice breaking the heavy silence they had settled into, he opened his eyes and turned his head toward the sound. The surprise cleared some of the fog of slumber weighing on his mind, but he stared at Dan for a few seconds before registering his question. "Yeah."

"What d'you think about that?" Dan was lying on his back, too, with his eyes still closed.

"I think people didn't understand technology, probably."

"And they transformed their fear of it into superstition, hmm..." Dan trailed off.

"Why do you ask?"

Dan opened his eyes but kept his gaze on the ceiling as he answered, "I dunno, I was just thinking it was an interesting idea. Archaic and irrational, obviously. But interesting." He paused, and then said, "I think it's the opposite."

Phil squinted. "The opposite..."

"Like the opposite of stealing your soul."

Phil nodded slowly, still not understanding the conversation. "Right. So being photographed... _gives_ you a soul? Or, more soul?" He reached out and ran his fingers lightly over Dan's forearm, suddenly feeling both more awake and less interested in discussing the history of photography.

Dan looked down at his arm, taking note of Phil's attention but continuing his train of thought undeterred. "Well, I mean, what even is a soul? It doesn't mean anything. But photography, or more relevant to these modern times, _video_ , expands your mark on the world. Right? Like, one day all we'll be are memories. And before photography, what was there? Art. Drawings, paintings, sketches of time. Echoes of people and places, like dreams you can't entirely remember... familiar but not entirely clear. _Now_ , pictures, videos, they're more than just echoes. They're clear. They move, they talk..."

Phil turned onto his side and leaned into Dan. "They sneeze," he said, before nuzzling softly into Dan's neck. 

Dan murmured in agreement, "Some of them."

Phil kissed Dan and pulled back to look at his face. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes were both darker and brighter than usual. Darker in the shadows of the moonlit room, but brighter from all the alcohol imbibed that evening, almost sparkling. "Maybe you shouldn't mix wines next time."

Dan pinched Phil's arm and Phil let out a small yelp. "I'm trying to say something here," Dan said with put-on exasperation and a grin.

Phil grinned right back and climbed on top of Dan, straddling him, while rubbing the slightly stinging flesh of his own forearm. "So am I." He looked down at Dan, wanting nothing more than to feel all of the warmth promised by the lovely and enticing flush of Dan's skin.

"I was thinking of mixed paint."

Phil's shoulders slumped a little and his grin was replaced by a brief bite of his own lip. "Okay, not what I was expecting."

Dan sat up and placed his hands on Phil's legs, speaking a little too close to Phil's face, close enough that he could smell the wine on his breath. A bit of garlic in there, too. Dan continued, "And honestly, how terrifying is it that the majority of everybody who has ever existed is just lost to history? They're just gone. Like before photography, a person's legacy, their memory, like their _enduring imprint_ on the world would have been a drawing, or a painting. _If they were lucky_. And privileged. Think of that: just somebody else's interpretation of your face, on one day of your life, frozen in time in whatever colours and materials the artist happened to have available that day."

"Mmhm."

"An entire lifetime amounting to a mixture of paint."

Phil studied Dan's face and placed his hand against his cheek, his palm met with a slightly damp warmth. Dan was staring into Phil's eyes, more intensely with each word that came from his mouth, desperate to be understood.

"That's what our videos are. When we're gone, that's what's left. And to be honest, there's more life in them than in everything in the Louvre combined."

Phil smiled wide with a kind of surprised delight and said, "That _might_ be a stretch. Little bit."

Dan shook his head. "It's not." He placed his hand over Phil's, squishing his own cheek a little with his enthusiasm, and continued, "We're not little charcoal drawings or single portraits— our history, our enduring imprints, are tied together like blue and yellow _and we're green_."

Phil's head was starting to swim in Dan's words, or maybe it was still just the wine. "Okay, now you're kinda freaking me out. Maybe let's avoid the white wine entirely from now on. Stick to red."

Dan turned his head into Phil's hand, still holding it in his own, and kissed it before saying, "I just want you to know that I don't want to be blue and I don't want to be yellow." He brought Phil's hand to his chest, pressing it into his heart, and said, "Phil, if everything we've done on YouTube amounts to our souls being projected into eternity, I wouldn't want it any other way than green." 

Phil, caught up in the words, in the wine, in the humming of his entire body, leaned into Dan and kissed him like it was the first time. Kissed him like he was suffocating and Dan was his last breath of air. He only stopped to blurt out, "I changed my mind, white wine is very much allowed."

"It's not the wine, it's you," Dan whispered in Phil's ear before lightly biting his neck.

Phil closed his eyes and let his head fall back. "I love you," he breathed. "I love you."

And they were green. 


	3. Nude

_\- So don't get any big ideas_

_They're not gonna happen -_

Circa 2009

_Dan_ : This guy will never talk to me

_Phil_ : This guy doesn't really like me 

 

Circa 2011

_Dan_ : Dropping out will be the biggest mistake of my life

_Phil_ : This can't last as a career

 

Circa 2012

_Dan and Phil_ :

We'll never make it in London

We'll never be free to be ourselves

 

Circa 2016

_Dan and Phil_ :

This stage show will kill us

We'll be trapped in this flat forever

 

Circa 2017

_Dan and Phil_ :

We'll never top TATINOF in our careers

Life can't possibly get any better


	4. Weird Fishes/Arpeggi

_\- I'd be crazy not to follow_

_Follow where you lead -_

 

Dan burst through the door and made a beeline for the kitchen, desperate for nothing more than an ice-cold glass of water after being trapped on a humid and sticky train for over an hour on one of the hottest days of the year. He dropped his bag on the floor, followed immediately by his black jumper, which had been, in hindsight, a mistake. He had just returned from a day-long visit with his family in Reading and his cheeks were sore from all of the smiling he had done, most of it genuine. Mostly he had enjoyed the air conditioning and home-cooked meal. And the dog. Colin was worth every train ride, to be honest.

As Dan rounded the corner to the kitchen, he saw Phil standing just outside the doorway. Phil opened his mouth, but Dan held up his hand and kept going, greetings could wait, his singular purpose in life at that moment was only to get his body in front of the refrigerator and bring the sweet relief of hydration to his lips. He opened the door to his current conception of heaven, the fridge, and sighed loudly as he felt the blissful cool air within caress his sweaty arms. He poured himself a glass of water. A moan escaped his lips and carried throughout the flat, maybe the entire building, as the water cascaded down his throat, washing away the miserable humidity from outside that felt as though it had settled on and in to every part of his body. Dan chugged it all down and then poured himself another. Relief. He stepped over to the sink and set the empty glass down; all he needed now was a shower to feel as refreshed on the outside as he did on the inside. He was about to peel his damp T-shirt off when he saw it. He leaned down to get a better look and then called out, "Phil, why is there a fish in the sink?"

Phil peeked his head around the doorway from the hall, he had been waiting. He raised his eyebrows a little as he shuffled into the room, gauging Dan's mood and reaction all at once. "It was an impulse purchase," he said. His voice was low, holding back his excitement until Dan was on the same page.

Dan had his hands on his hips, looking from the plastic bag floating in the sink full of water, and the dirty dishes underneath it, to Phil. "An impulse purchase is a Kinder Egg or a pack of gum, not a living thing in a bag."

Phil pursed his lips to keep from smiling and approached the sink, looking fondly at the aforementioned bag. "An impulse purchase is anything purchased impulsively, so..." Dan didn't respond, so Phil continued, "At least I didn't buy a car."

"That certainly would have been more difficult to flush down the toilet one day."

"Shh! He'll hear you!" Playfully affronted, Phil put his hands on either side of the bag, as if he were covering the ears of something easily offended.

Dan laughed and then peered at the little gold creature circling around its small temporary home. He shook his head. "I leave you alone for one day. 'He', is it? How can you tell?"

"Well, I've named him Thor. So he's a he," Phil said with a shrug.

"Oh, so you've just assigned a gender to this fish all willy-nilly in order to make a name fit?"

Phil patted the top of the bag softly. "He's just a fish, Dan, I don't think he minds either way."

"But you don't _know_..." 

"You know what? Yeah, it's 2017. Thor can be a gender-neutral name. So Thor can be a gender-neutral fish."

Dan nodded with a big smile on his face. "Right, let's not be slotting fish into boxes here." He patted the top of the bag gently, as Phil had just done. Thor continued to be indifferent to their presence, circling around the bag.

Phil glanced sidelong at Dan. He felt a twinge of uncertainty at whether they were joking or not, and if they were, how much. He tried to read Dan's face, noting the relaxed smile, and settled on the conversation being mostly serious and not mostly joking. "Do you ever get tired?"

Dan looked up, his face still flushed from the humidity outside, and cocked his head. "Tired?" Phil nodded and Dan closed his eyes and said, "Oh." He opened his eyes and looked down to see which mismatched socks Phil had chosen that day. Pugs on the left foot and music notes on the right. He tapped his own black-socked foot over Phil's music notes and grinned. "Do I ever get tired of always trying to keep my mind as open as I possibly can in an attempt to constantly reject the shackles imposed on it by society with the hope that doing so will create a world based on acceptance and respect by all and for all? Do I ever get tired of trying to shape the kind of world I want to live in?" He glanced at Thor, ever circling the shallow depths of the plastic bag, and then back at Phil. "Nope. Do you?"

Phil thought for a moment, watching Dan, taking in every detail of him. He had left fairly early that morning after going to bed as late as they usually did, and the bags under his eyes were the proof. Phil's eyes went lower. Dan's shirt was sticking to his body, damp from the London heat. He was hunched over a bit, his back clearly stiff from the commute. All of his skin that Phil could see - arms, face, neck - were mottled with red patches. Sweat rashes. All in all, in that moment, Dan was the walking epitome of bodily discomfort. And yet, he still took the time to argue for the right of a questionably sentient goldfish to have their gender expression unlabeled. "Tired of your passion? Never."

"Well, passion for social justice is all I have to offer in my present state. I'll need to sleep for about 12 hours before I'll be good for anything else."

Phil stood behind Dan and wrapped his arms around his waist. He rested his chin on Dan's shoulder, both of them watching Thor in a fond silence. "Just this for now is pretty good," he said. "I missed you today."

"Clearly." Dan poked the bag. "But why did you put them in the sink?"

"I forgot to buy a tank."

Dan snorted. "Why did I even ask?"

"When you walked in, I was just placing an order to get one delivered. Thor might have a tank by the time you're out of the shower. Our first pet."

Dan started to sway slightly side to side with Phil's arms still wrapped around him, a comforting little dance. "Welcome to the family, Thor. It's an odd one."

Phil swayed with Dan and gave his shoulder a quick, soft peck.

"The best one."


	5. All I Need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chilling in a pool somewhere in Florida. Oh, and it's the apocalypse for some reason.

_\- I only stick with you_

_Because there are no others -_

 

"No sunscreen? Mad lad right here."

Phil glanced at Dan and then down at his own pale chest, his skin tinted orange under the strange glow of the sky. "We'll probably be inside out soon enough, I think I can risk a bit of sun damage." His voice was calm, as matter-of-fact as though he had heard it might rain later. _We'll be inside out. Might need a brolly._

Dan nodded, his eyes following Phil's gaze, focusing on the familiar expanse of freckles over the only body he knew better than his own. "Does it bother you that Dil's gonna outlive us?" He wanted to laugh, but worried he wouldn't be able to stop if he started.

"How d'you figure that? Computers are dead."

"The _internet_ is dead, computers are fine. Dilly's just chilling in our files at home."

Phil turned to Dan and stared until Dan looked up from his freckle hunt to meet Phil's eyes. Phil didn't want to argue, but he didn't want to be in denial either. "Do you actually think home is still fine?" The upward lilt in his voice, that tiny hopeful tone alone in a world of impending darkness, made Dan think for a moment before responding.

"No internet, no idea, right? No point in assuming the worst, Philly."

Phil's mouth quirked in a little half-smile as he watched Dan absently tracing his fingertips over the water. "Wow, it really _is_ the end of the world, huh?"

Dan smiled wide at Phil before splashing him right in the face with the lukewarm pool water. "Could be worse, I guess."

Phil rubbed his eyes to rid them of the sting of the chlorine and blinked his contacts back into place. His only response was a quiet grumble in his throat, but he was smiling all the same.

Dan leaned back against his pool float to look up, and crossed his arms underneath his head. "The orange sky isn't even all that terrifying, it's kind of cool. In a way."

Phil looked up, too. "In a way. Yeah."

"Like, it's weird, but somehow... very American? Y'know? Like, of course the world is ending, of course the sky is on fire, of course we're in America right now. Of _course_. It makes sense. In a way."

Phil nodded as he examined the sky. "Yeah. In a way." He leaned back against his own float and mirrored Dan's position, arms crossed under his head, like they were on any other holiday, just getting some sun without a care in the world. "I'm glad I met you," he said.

Dan looked at Phil and reached out his hand over the water. Phil grasped Dan's hand in his own and they stared at each other for a moment before Dan said, "Same."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this anthology ends at 5 songs--only halfway through the album--*not* because the author gave up entirely, but because the 5th chapter just happened to be an apocalypse. So the rest of the album stopped existing right along with, y'know, humanity and total existence as we know it. 
> 
> It's not a failure on the part of the author, not at all, the issue is that the universe just kind of stopped existing, so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


End file.
